even so, it is well.

Sometimes life gets wild and heavy and messy. 2020 in general has just been one of the wildest times, and on a personal level, 2020 has carried on the theme that is 2020. There have been so many unexpected things this year.

To keep my foster care license, I have to get in so many “training hours” each year. So far I am continuing my theme of waiting until the last minute to do so, of course. Also, can we talk about how I have all the paperwork (also untouched *face palm*) to begin the process of renewing my license, which means that my second year of fostering is about to come to a close? Honestly, I can’t believe it has only been two years, it feels far longer. So much life and love has happened in these two years. But nonetheless, I am blown away and still can’t believe this is my life. What an honor.

Anyway, foster care. In one of my recent trainings titled “5 Ways to Connect with your Foster Child’s Birth Parents”, she talked about how often fostering feels like you are picking up the pieces to a mess that you did not make. Those words struck deep in my soul, and describe exactly what the past couple of months have felt like for me. Daily picking up a mess that I didn’t make. It has been emotionally exhausting.

As I was journaling today though, the Lord took me back to a word that a friend had given me a few years ago now. I’m not going to get into the details of it all, but essentially it was about how the Lord delights in me. Like, what?! Me?

And I just had this moment, on my bed, in the middle of what has been a lazy Sunday (praise the Lord for these kinds of days!), where the Lord stopped me in my tracks, and reminded me that, “Hey, don’t forget that I love YOU.”

When I am needing to tell M something that I really want to make sure he hears loud and clear, I have him make eye contact with me. And that is the kind of moment I had with the Lord, it was a “look me in the eye because I need you to hear me say these words to YOU” kind of moment, and it quieted me.

One of my memory verses for the month is Zephaniah 3:17, part of it says “he will quiet you by his love” and that is exactly what the Lord did. As of lately, I have been taking his promises and truths and praying them for my M, that one day he would look back and see so clearly how the Lord has been protecting him and caring for him, even now. But those promises and truths are for me, too. And they are for you.

Allow the space for the Lord to quiet you with His love. Let him “look into your eyes” and remind you of His great, big, vast, crazy, love for you. There is no height nor depth nor width that can contain it or overcome it. Whatever hardship or sadness or worry or doubt you are feeling today, right now, He is for you and with you, going before you, beside you, and behind you. Somehow, everything truly does seem smaller in the light of His love.

“The Lord your God is in your midst” (he is WITH YOU!);

“a mighty one who will save;” (He is in the business of saving and redeeming and making all things new! And key word is he WILL!)

“He will rejoice over you with gladness” (he. rejoices. over you. Read that over and over as many times as you need to.);

“He will quiet you by His love” (he loves you, he loves you, he loves you);

“He will exult over you with loud singing.” (You bring him so much joy!)

-Zephaniah 3:17-

It’s a crazy kind of love. Receive it, friends. ❤